Disclaimer: Quite frankly, we recommend letting us do the dirty work, but if you insist, here's how we think it should be handled, carpet cleaning DIY style. First we go over the general process, and then we give some specific instances later.
Stains- Not the end of the world
Did a guest spill some coffee or wine? Did Fido get carried away and throw a yellow flag next to the door? Has Kitty lost her meal on the good couch?
Whatever it is, we don't want to know. Start by scraping off and picking up any solid portions (make sure not to smear). Mix soap and water at a 1:4 ratio and apply vigorously. Rinse with some lukewarm water.
If you or a loved one has gotten mom's spaghetti or dad's pizza on the carpet already, don't fret. Scrape up anything with a knife that you can't pick up with a towel. Bust out the paper towels and layer them up over the stains. Turn your iron on the lowest setting, and iron those paper towels like the wrinkly button-up you left in the dryer for too long. The iron will lift the grease. Apply a homogeneous mixture of white vinegar, soap and warm water and then rinse. There, good as new! Mom will never know.
Wine, Coffee, Other Colorful Liquids
Depending on the liquid, it is either way too early, or way too late in the day for this. Good news, if you blot the stain, rinse with club soda, then brush the spot with soapy water before rinsing again, you should see the stain disappearing before your eyes. This may not 100% eliminate the stain, but repeat a couple times, and your wife will never know the difference.
Carpet's Worst Nightmares